After 3 years, I decided to arrange for another healing session with my Theta Healing teacher again. Too many unfortunate things (but still a handful of good blessings in disguise) had happened since my first session and the following 3-day Basic DNA Theta Healing course that I had with her in April 2019.
Since I took the Theta Healing course, there had been a brief period when I could feel the subtle change of energy around me. The people whom I worked with at Singtel seemed to become a bit kinder and friendlier towards me..? More comfortable sense of closeness, I would say. After a long time battling with feelings of depression and hostility around me, I suddenly could feel a deep sense of sincere gratefulness in my heart once again.
But the good feelings did not last long. Things quickly went on a downward spiral after I made the decision to leave Singtel once my 1-year contract was up. Even though my Theta Healing teacher persuaded me to continue to the next Advanced level of her Theta Healing course to deepen my practice, I turned down her offer as I felt that I couldn’t afford it financially at that time. I needed the little savings I had to prepare for the uncertain times ahead of me, especially after I was bent on quitting my Singtel job and living without a stable source of income. Since then, dark times followed, more bizarre things happened to me and before we knew it, came the outbreak of COVID-19.
Fast forward to 2022, earlier this January, as things were slowly getting back to normal and my life seemed to get back on track, I still had many unanswered questions and mysteries that had accumulated in my mind and still puzzled me since years ago. Furthermore, SM Entertainment had just confirmed that Taeyeon would be releasing her new solo album soon. I didn’t have a good feeling about it. Aggravating my stress and worries, Tofu was also going to undergo his second ear surgery due to serious infection. Determined to get all of these issues addressed all at once, I stepped into the same house where my Theta Healing teacher stays again after 3 years.
She came down the stairs of her terrace house as I arrived at the living room, closing the main door behind me.
“If I remembered correctly, I had a session with you and you also took my Basic DNA course before, am I right?” She looked at me and asked.
“Yes that was a few years ago,” I replied.
“I thought it had all been settled and healed already, hadn’t it?” She questioned.
“Oh.. I feel like there are many more issues and questions I hadn’t fully opened up to you back then so I hope to have a session with you again today to clear these up…” I answered.
And so we sat down on the sofa chairs facing each other and began our 1.5 hour of healing session.
Prior to getting here, my mind was already in a mess. Earlier in the morning, she could probably psychically sensed that my mind was in a state of confusion and lacking clarity on what I was going to talk about. So she asked me to specifically write down in my message to her the issue that I wanted to focus on in only 3 sentences to set my intention clear before going down to meet her for our session.
Even so, at this point when we finally met and talked in person, I was still very anxious and panicking for some reasons. I could barely catch my breath as I tried to gather my thoughts and tell her what happened in 2013 from where I stopped during our first session 3 years ago. I mentioned specifically Taeyeon’s name again this time. She pulled out SNSD’s I Got A Boy album that she earlier took from her son/daughter’s room in preparation for our meeting. She flipped through the album booklet, asking which one is Taeyeon.
She asked, “What was it that made you like and idolise Girls’ Generation? Was it because they are pretty and cute and you wanted to be like them? To be one of them?”
Quite taken aback, embarrassed and even slightly offended by her sudden superficial assumption, I explained, “I didn’t like them because of their looks. Honestly, they all looked visually the same to me at the start. What attracted me was their personalities. Because they all seemed to be genuine, kind and funny.”
I talked about wishing for a best friend since young.
She responded, “Didn’t I say at our classes that you should be very specific with what you ask for? You should specify that you want a human best friend, or else it can come to you in spiritual form too.”
But I didn’t go further to reiterate that I made that wish when I was just a small girl. How could I have known that when I was so young??
I talked about suspecting that there was a female spirit following me during that IGAB period. I brought up the story when I was just discharged from IMH in 2013, my relatives from Sarawak called my mum out of the blue without even knowing what just happened to me just to ask if I was okay. My uncle had earlier showed a photo that we took together when his family came to Singapore for a holiday just the month before IGAB to a master and the master told him that there was a female spirit standing next to me. I also suspected that there was a male spirit too as I had heard his voice from some of the videos related to SNSD before.
Upon hearing this, she did a healing to clear the entities away from me and command the spirits to leave me. Thereafter, she said she could feel huge spikes of energy coming right out of me. But I did not feel anything.
Then I talked about some events that happened before, during and after I Got A Boy.
I talked about how I first started this idea of mind-singing with IGAB, as if I intuitively knew back then that it had some sort of a spiritual cleansing effect, chasing away the bad spirits.
She immediately answered with utmost certainty, “That’s your past life memory. Could be a shamanic healing practice you had done in your past life.”
“Oh really?” I responded, “I also knew it worked too.”
“How did you know?” She asked.
“Because right before each music broadcast, I could feel my whole body heating up and I started to feel dizzy and nauseous.” I replied.
She nodded, seemingly agreeing that these are the symptoms experienced by the body when the spiritual energy is at work.
“Also, I would watch their performances online after it was broadcasted and see from their facial expressions and listen to the background sounds to know that it worked,” I added.
She asked, “How did you do this mind-singing thing? Did you just chant something in your head?”
“No I just roughly sang along to the Korean lyrics of the songs…”
“Oh… just singing along with the lyrics?”
She seemed a bit puzzled.
I talked about how initially after doing mind-singing, I enjoyed brief wonderful moments of spiritual awakening. My senses were sharpened and I found the world around me really beautiful all of a sudden. But soon, my world turned really dark and scary. And later on, I was diagnosed of schizophrenia due to having auditory hallucinations and bizarre thoughts that everyone around me was possessed. She explained that it was because I succumbed to fear and this low energy attracted more dark entities onto me. I said that I was completely new to the spiritual world at that time. I did not know how to deal with my sudden pre-mature spiritual awakening so I got scared.
I talked about having very intense feelings towards Taeyeon especially during their IGAB promotions. I also claimed I could feel that Taeyeon also had the same romantic feelings towards me too (wished I could say it with more certainty and confidence, but I just didn’t have any direct concrete evidence to prove that). At this point, I think it became a bit too absurd for her to digest what I said.
My topics were all over the place, jumbled up without a proper sequence. Throughout the whole time, as I tried to bring up all my past stories and struggled to explain myself like I had to prove myself right, I could hear a very mean female voice at the back of my mind say “Lie! Lie! Lie!”.
Perhaps she started to find my stories too ridiculous or messy and getting nowhere better. Or maybe she started to think that I could be a psychopath who had a weird obsession with observing artistes’ expressions and listening to background voices. Very abruptly, she deviated away from my topics and asked me to describe how my relationships with my parents were like. Although it wasn’t my original intention to address my family issues that day, I obliged and went on to talk about my rough relationship with my father, how I still bore a grudge against him for the incident of him scolding me for making him carry my school bag and spraining his shoulder as a result even at the time when I suddenly had a strange sickness with seeing double vision and unable to naturally open my right eyelid, and for verbally abusing me with words like “木头人” (a blockhead) when I was young.
She proceeded to do a healing to clear my past grudges with my father and for me to forgive him so that my relationship with him could improve. From her readings, she said that both my father and I are high energy beings (? – I forgot the exact words she used), but I’m more on the higher chakras or spectrum (?) and he is on the lower end. He has the energy of a dwarf. I was amused and asked what it meant. She didn’t seem to be able to answer it. She also reported her vision of a lion that was drowned in the water re-emerging back to the surface. The lion represents power, the vision means that I’m regaining my power, she explained.
“Since when did you feel like you had your power stolen from you or become powerless?” She asked.
I contemplated for a moment, actually thinking about more recent events in my life possibly unrelated to family…
“Was it because of your parents overpowering you?” She prompted, seemingly to pull my thoughts back on the topic of my parents and prevent me from talking about the Kpop stuff again as I would have wanted to.
I then just went along to talk a bit about the dissatisfaction I had with my mum when I was in secondary school because she often scolded me for asking for too much pocket money from her. Trivial stuff by now, actually. She probably thought so too.
“How much pocket money did you receive from your mum at that time?” She asked.
“About $50 a week.” I replied.
“If I’m not wrong, that’s considered quite a lot already for a student at that time, right?”
I forgot to tell her that I studied in an elite school with well-to-do kids around me, so $50 was actually inferior to most of my peers, considering the expenses if you want to let say hang out with friends after school.. 😛
Somehow or other, I managed to direct our topic back to Taeyeon again for the last time. I explained that there had been many coincidences that happened between us in the past that seemed like both our fates had been intertwined since IGAB. I even brought up a recent consultation I had with another psychic medium regarding this same issue and his reading to me was that Taeyeon and I were past life lovers which explained why I had this intense feeling as if I already knew her from long time ago. But I also cited what he said about the need to move on with this life on our own separate paths. She seemed more willing to concede upon hearing this.
She performed theta healing on me again and went up to the Creator of All That Is to ask for more answers on my issue. At one point, she murmured, “Taeyeon..? It’s Taeyeon?!” (She probably received a signal from Heaven indicating it was indeed Taeyeon who was directly involved in my life as a person.) She, who was originally just laying back relaxed on her couch, suddenly sat straight up and got more serious now. I can’t remember the exact details of what came after that. But I remember her near the end of it all commanding to cut off all my obligations to Kim Taeyeon and the Kpop entertainment industry, and therefore ending this so-called relationship with her.
Then the clock started to chime, also signalling the end of our session. She did one last body scan on me. She told me I had this very ugly-looking, messy bird nest built on my head at the start of the session. Now I looked like a more polished and elegant peacock with my feathers spread out nicely.
Before we ended for good, she gave me an advice of having more presence of roses around me and at home. She explained that roses are known to be highly vibrational in energy and would help to protect me wherever I go. Not necessarily meaning to have real stalks of roses around me all the time, even a picture of it works too. She pointed to a picture frame of pink roses that she hanged on the wall behind me as an example. Also on the contrary to what she said during our first session 3 years ago, she clarified that she does not know for sure if the entertainment companies in Korea are using dark magic in their businesses. But she conjectured that while they are not exactly targeting me or coming after me as a person, they could be making use of fans like me for our energy and ideas, that’s why I often felt drained and having my energy drawn out.
Interestingly, she also shared with me her reading that she did earlier to get a quick sense of the issue that I was going to address before I came. Her reading revealed something about kidnap. Although it didn’t seem to be accurate and related to what I eventually shared with her that day, I offered my interpretation that perhaps it was referring to my schizophrenia condition which somewhat felt like my mind was being kidnapped.
I said goodbye to her. Before I left, I said I would want to have another session with her on the following week to clear many more other issues that I hadn’t managed to cover today.
However, eventually I didn’t. Money was a factor. The cost of one healing session wasn’t cheap at all ($215 for 1.5 hour). Furthermore, as I carefully thought about it over time, I realised that during a supposed psychic reading or spiritual healing session, if I find myself “telling stories” more than the answers I receive from the psychic or spiritual master themselves, then I think it does not work that well in helping me gain more clarity or certainty with my issues.
About one month later, one night my father came back home in a bad mood and scolded me using that dreadful term ”木头“ (blockhead) again because I was a bit slow in helping him open the door and carry his things. It actually had been at least few years I hadn’t heard him calling me that already. At that moment when he scolded me with that same haunting two words that had cause hurt in me since young again now, I knew in my heart that the effect of theta healing we did that day was already gone. The “Devil” was back.
(Disclaimer: Not all details and conversations from my theta healing session are written above in full exact words said by either party. Some details of the readings could be purposely omitted for privacy reasons and some others might have been unintentionally excluded simply because I can’t remember exactly what was being said by now as the session took place more than 6 months ago as of the time of this writing. I also did not take any form of voice recording of the session at that time (it is not ethical to do so too). I arranged for the session genuinely to seek more answers for my mysteries relating to Taeyeon, mind-singing and the Kpop industry in general, not for the purpose of writing this post, although the outcome of this session as it turned out did not give me much new insights as I had hoped it would. I now decide to reveal the details of my experience from that time to the extent that I’m comfortable with sharing and to the best of my recollection of the session.)