The journey of how I devote my love on someone I haven't met in real life
Schizophrenia has an inseparable part to play in the course of our relationship. Whether it was just a play of tricks in the mind, there were undeniable truths that happened in reality which couldn’t be ignored. Simply put, it could be schizophrenia that brought me closer to Taeyeon. In my journey with schizophrenia, I asked questions, waited for answers and looked for evidence. It was an interplay between illusion and reality. Join me in this unpredictable roller coaster ride of finding the truth behind schizophrenia.
May 2013 Three nights in a rowI couldn’t really fall asleepKept awake by the monsters of the nightVoices of different entities whom I couldn’t seeCame and went at their willWhat were they discussing about?Dealer?What dealer?Drug dealer?What did they want to do to me?Imagination ran wildTake me, just take meDon’t harm TaeyeonTaeyeon is a celebrity but […]
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Some learning points that I have taken away with me after watching a local TV drama “Mind Jumper 触心罪探” last year. An intriguing crime story about a cult murder case and its leader who is revealed to be a schizophrenia patient…
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April – May 2013 Since that day my family came frantically looking for me at Singapore Botanic Gardens to bring me homeI was taken to visit different religious placesAfter hearing my woes of hearing voicesFeelings of being possessedOr being chased by evil spirits My father said to meThere’s nothing to be afraid ofAs long as […]
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Like many other university undergraduatesI took up tuition assignmentsEarning extra pocket money during my free time outside of schoolI think I was concurrently teaching about 2-3 kids at that timeStart of 2013I had an Indian girlAnother Indian boyAnother Chinese girl perhapsBut those days were so darkGloomy like the weatherFrequent rainThunderstormsTrips to my tutees’ house were […]
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#220410# January 2013 One night For what was to be a precursor to my worst nightmare for a long time I was watching a short program on a local TV channel That episode was featuring a type of mental illness What was it called…. Bipolar Disorder? I can’t remember exactly But they re-enacted what seemed […]
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#220406# That periodEach day I felt like I was caught in the middle of a battle between the good and evil forcesThat dayMy dad drove me in the carI listened to the subtle changes in his voiceAt one moment, his voice was youthful like that of a young ladAnother moment, his voice turned hoarser and […]
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7-10 March 2020 I had been feeling really tired and torn apart lately. Despite trying to stay positive and keep myself busy by making artworks for Taenggu and writing actively, I couldn’t help feeling empty and depressed every now and then. One major reason for my feelings of depression is that I haven’t been earning […]
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26th December 2019 It was Thursday. I thought it would be just another ordinary day. I went to work at Klass Engineering where I just started working as a part-time data entry image annotator not long ago. I had a few personal issues waiting for me to tackle. One of them was that my schizophrenia […]
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“Time Machine” by Girls’ Generation (SNSD) [English Translation] Alone in the room that is more spacious than usual It’s over, guess it’s over The story created by the two of us was also in vain I can’t believe it could crumble so easily One mistake, got a one regret “Nobody is perfect” Even if I […]
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It was a mystery how Taenggu could have found me in 2013. It was a miracle if she did. All I knew was not long after Girls’ Generation (SNSD) ended their promotions for I Got A Boy (the song that marked the beginning of my schizophrenia and mystical spiritual journey), Taenggu made an instagram account […]
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“Not Alone” by Girls’ Generation (English translated lyrics with individual parts) [Tiffany] Have you ever, even now believed That love matures with just one person [Yoona] Even just wishing for it, I can’t do it well [Yuri] But, still I know [Taeyeon] Not Alone, Not Alone Even if these feelings don’t have an “answer” [Jessica] […]
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April had been a really difficult month for me. It seemed to get harder and harder to get pass day after day being stuck with an office job that I didn’t enjoy. I guess it was that time of the year again. The time had come again for me to seriously ponder and make important […]
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