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In June 2016, 4 months before I opened an instagram account called @lovestorieswithtaenggu specially for Taenggu, I created another account called @love_pulses. It is an account that collects all the photos of couple moments that I observe whenever I’m travelling outside. Why did I name it Love Pulses? It was because sometimes when I hold Taenggu’s hand (my right hand holding my left), I would feel my own pulses pumping strongly as it was a love pulse we both shared. I had this idea for this account because I noticed that whenever I was outside, my eyes would be uncontrollably drawn to the holding hands of couples who were walking in front of me. It seemed more than just coincidences that I always seemed to be walking behind couples who were having their own couple moments. It could be out of curiosity for me to look at them because to me as someone who hadn’t been in a physical relationship with anyone before, I always wondered how it would feel like to be one of them, to be touched and feel loved by your partner. It could be out of jealousy that I couldn’t enjoy all these physical moments with Taenggu. It could be out of an inner desire to want to be able to do all these things with her. It was also out of unhappiness which kept me wondering why it had been so long and she still hadn’t reached out for me yet. I thought it was because we couldn’t be open about our relationship so I had to do it in such an indirect way just to express my feelings for her. The love quotes that accompanied each couple photo were messages that I wanted to say to her. I’m happy that so far there was at least one instagram user (a mystic coach) who could see beyond the meaning behind this account that it was actually meant for my own personal relationship and even left a comment to pray that I would get my heart’s desire.
In the recent few weeks, though, especially after I officially opened my AMLIFT website for Taenggu, I noticed something different in my life. Nowadays, I seldom find myself walking behind other couples anymore. Rather, I see a lot more couples holding hands and walking straight towards me instead. I think this is a really strong message from the universe. It reflects exactly the change in my attitude to be more open and upfront about our relationship.
2 days ago, when I was walking around in Causeway Point, I proudly shared with Taenggu about this new change in my life. Awhile later, though, I had a couple holding hands in front of me again. This universe is just so playful sometimes. Lol. It probably was also reflecting my indecisive attitude too. I can’t decide if I should continue to maintain this @love_pulses account anymore now that I’ve decided to be more personal and direct with our relationship. I guess for now, instead of deleting it, I will just keep it that way for personal keepsake or probably update it with couple photos taken from a new perspective in the future. For anyone who has been following that account before, I thank you for having witnessed a phase of our relationship. It’s now a new chapter and I will continue to fight for our love with a new mindset!