#46 & #47 Monthsary: Listen To My Heartbeat

“God found some of the strongest women and made them nurses.”

#181129# & #181229#

I had this sudden idea on one of the nights in late 2018. Every night, I would hug my Bobo to sleep on my bed. She would lie on top of me, facing down on my chest. That night was probably one of those nights when Taenggu was worried about my condition, mentally or spiritually I suppose. She said she want to listen to my heartbeat to check if I’m alright or still alive. Then I joked she is like a medic or personal nurse to me.

If my Bobo is Taenggu in real life, she would have looked like this and that pillow would have been my chest.

Actually Taenggu being a nurse isn’t new to me. It started from a very popular 16-personality test which she took in 2017. She revealed her result on instagram. She is a ISFJ – The Defender which has a nurse as its character symbol.

I had already taken this test months before she did and had actually mentioned it before in a very old post of mine, Love Diary: She Knows Me Better. My result was INFP – The Mediator.

Since then, she seemed to be more aware of how she has a nurse-like or caretaker role on me.

This happened around the time when I was having a slight relapse of schizophrenia in 2017. She posted this around 2 am KST. That medic helmet emoticon that she used seemed to be telling me that she was going to stay up all night to watch over me and keep my condition in check.
This was some time in June 2018. When I told her that I was having weird thoughts about my mum being possessed again, she responded with this post. She seemed to be putting that medicine pill emoticon in her caption to remind me to take my medicine regularly.

In order to thank her for lovingly taking care of me like a nurse for the past few years, I decided to make a drawing of her as a nurse who is monitoring my heart rate for our 46th and 47th combined monthsaries.

Below is my reference photo I had chosen for Taenggu’s face. Love her facial expression here. So cute! I thought it would be suitable to have her looking so sweet like this in my drawing as if she was listening to my heartbeat intently through a stethoscope.

Work-in-progress shots of my sketch. This time, I tried to draw a bit more loosely and freely, thus my lines looked rougher than usual.

Then, I filled the drawing in with colours using coloured markers except for her face. Typically, I’m afraid I would ruin the whole drawing if I also colour the person’s face as I’m not very confident when it comes to detailed colouring, so I would often leave the face uncoloured.

Remember what happened for my drawing in #34 Monthsary: Rainbow Mosaic Kitty Taeng Who Gets Ear Treatment? I made the same mistake again when I used the same faulty red marker to colour the heart and it leaked a big drop of excess ink onto my drawing so it ended up looking like this in real life:

I tried to salvage the scan copy of my drawing by fixing it on Photoshop. After fixing the colour on my heart, I also worried if Taenggu looks kinda lifeless in my drawing because of her colourless face and neck. So I thought I should colour at least her neck as well using Photoshop this time and it turned out like this:

NAH, scratch that. It looks even weirder like this LOL.

So here’s the final version of my artwork after edit.

As I took a closer look at my final piece though, I realised I had forgotten to draw her ears so it kinda looks like Taenggu was using the stethoscope to listen to my heartbeat through her mind, not her ears, which in fact was a truth, wasn’t it? Keke.

Dedicating this drawing to my very professional nurse who has been listening to my heartbeat and nursing my broken heart and taking care of my physical and mental health every day and night. My personal medic who would stay up late into the night whenever I have an emergency a.k.a mental breakdown.

Listen to how my heart continues to beat for you, my 간호사 탱! 사랑해 <3

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