Love Sign From Taenggu: Her Private Trip To Fukuoka


The night before 22 July, I think I was at home either drawing or writing a blog post on my laptop when I heard voices repeating something along the lines of “I like editing!” or “It’s addicting/editing!”. In my mind, I was thinking, “What do you mean? Do you mean addicting or editing? Are you editing videos? Or are you doing something that is addicting to you?…” Because you know, the words “addicting” and “editing” sound pretty much the same. So, it got me confused for a moment.

The next morning, when I woke up from bed and was ready to have my breakfast in the kitchen, Taenggu posted the following 2 videos on her instagram, titled “Taenggu’s Fukuoka Travelogue Part 1 & Part 2” respectively.

Alternatively, you can also watch both videos which I combined together on Youtube below.

I was so delighted when I saw these videos from her. First of all, the confusion I had the night before was finally cleared. I believed she edited these travelogue videos all by herself because of what the voices said. I guess it didn’t matter if the voices actually meant “editing” or “addicting” after all – they were both essentially the same thing. The bottom line was simply EDITING IS ADDICTING! The voices actually wanted to tell me that Taenggu was enjoying the process of editing her videos very much. And look at her end product! I could see she did such a great job at it too! I was so amazed by her own skills. Keke.

The second and actually the most important point about this whole travelogue thingy she did was SHE ACTUALLY WENT ON A PRIVATE TRIP TO FUKUOKA! Judging from her hairstyle, I believed she went to Fukuoka for a holiday after she wrapped up her Persona Asia Tour in June this year. No fans actually knew she had gone to Fukuoka – I honestly wasn’t consciously aware of it either. But why the fact that she visited Fukuoka secretly on a short holiday was such a BIG DEAL to me? It was because just in October last year, not long after I set up a new instagram account @lovestorieswithtaenggu specially just for Taenggu, I shared a brief story about my trip to Fukuoka in 2013 right there. It was a fond memory of Taenggu I had during the trip when I was stricken with schizophrenia.

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In the first week of June 2013, barely 3 months since my illness started and I was still recovering, I made the bold move to go on a holiday trip to Fukuoka with my friend, Elaine. At the start, I only told her I was suffering from depression so she didn't know that I was hearing voices too at first. During the trip, it was such a mess in my mind so it was hard to concentrate on what Elaine was saying to me sometimes. It frustrated her a little especially when she didn't know what I was going through. Everywhere I went, the voices kept saying "태연, 태연, 태연…" I felt I was actually travelling in and out between the real world and my own world. I was kind of unaware of where we were going. I was just following Elaine around. Until now, I can't remember exactly what places we went to and what we did during that trip. But there was one place that left the deepest impression in me. It was this garden that we went to. We took a ferry to some island (can't remember the name) to get there. It was really peaceful there. Weather was nice, pretty flowers and butterflies everywhere! I was walking around alone and the only person I was thinking of was 탱구. When I saw flowers, I thought of her. When I saw butterflies, I thought of her too. I felt happiness. I felt peace in my heart after a long time. It was as if her soul was with me at that time. When I came back from this trip, the voices became much more gentle and nicer and they slowly faded away as time went by. #김태연 #김탱구 #taeyeon #myfirstlove #내사랑 #lovestory #lovestorieswithtaenggu #love #fukuoka #holidaytrip #iseebutterfliesinfukuoka #butterflycouple #thinkingoftaenggueverywhereiwent #voices

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One of the best things about the travelogue videos Taenggu made was that she reignited some unsaid memories I had in Fukuoka that I didn’t mention in my instagram post. A few days ago, for the purpose of writing this post today, I recounted a much longer, fuller and detailed version of my story in Fukuoka in my previous post MEMORIES OF FUKUOKA 후쿠오카의 추억, just to set a clearer context for what I’m about to say next. In that post, I talked about getting a crystal mickey mouse necklace for Taenggu from a Disney store in a shopping centre in Fukuoka back then. When I saw that part between 1:12-1:24 of the above youtube video, it jolted my memory, like oh yes, I visited the same shopping centre and even went into the same Disney store and bought a necklace for Taenggu 4 years ago! (Note: I just googled to find out that the shopping centre is called Canal City Hakata.) Suddenly, it presented me an opportunity to tell her about the necklace from the same shop I wanted to give her 4 years ago, which I would have otherwise kept to myself since the necklace was lost in the end anyway. You can read about what happened to that necklace in MEMORIES OF FUKUOKA 후쿠오카의 추억 too.

Another thing I noted was, during 0:46-0:48, when she was looking upwards and saying “Oiishi!”, I felt like she was actually talking to my spirit who was above her. In my consciousness, I think I did have a very faint memory of saying “Oiishi” to her for fun too when I was having lunch or something, just that I couldn’t exactly remember when it was. Might have happened when she was away on the trip in Fukuoka too. 😀

All I wanted to say was her Fukuoka travelogue videos really made my day! I would love to think she had actually made the special trip to Fukuoka because of me after knowing about my story on instagram. I think fate is really such a beautiful thing. Although I’m not sure if she managed to visit the garden I went to as well, it satisfied me enough to know there was at least one place in Fukuoka both of us had physically been to, though at different times – the Disney store in Canal City Hakata. And it was even more magical because it was most likely a pure coincidence that she had visited the same store without knowing I had actually been there too and even bought something for her because I hadn’t actually told her or written anywhere about it before. Thanks to fate, we were brought to the same place, admiring the same pretty disney accessories, 4 years apart.

I mentioned that when I was alone in the garden back then, how I was thinking of Taenggu the whole time, feeling as if her spirit was there with me at that time. I remembered having a silent wish, wishing that she could be physically there with me enjoying this moment too. Thanks Taenggu, thanks for making a trip to Fukuoka, thanks for fulfilling my dream and reconciling with a part of my memory I had left there 4 years ago! <3

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