After my second chance of possibly meeting Taeyeon in person at Girls’ Generation tour in Singapore in 2013 still failed
I almost had a third chance too
But it never happened eventually
In Oct 2013
Organisers confirmed news that TaeTiSeo would be hosting the MBC Korean Music Wave concert in Singapore
To be held at Gardens By The Bay on Nov 16.
However on Nov 6, just 10 days before the event
Came the abrupt announcement that the concert would be cancelled due to “unforeseen contractual difficulties” between MBC and the Singapore-based promoter Fatfish Entertainment
This led to the wide outrage and disappointment of many Kpop fans who had already bought the tickets
Including myself
Fortunately we did get a refund for our ticket purchases afterwards
But what could be my third chance of seeing Taeyeon in Singapore again
To possibly clear my doubts and mystery surrounding IGAB and schizophrenia with her directly
Also got blown off just like that
What happened after that was a long period of waiting in silence
Getting more and more discouraged as time went by without seeing any more obvious signs from Taenggu
Especially after the “lacklustre”, uneventful GG tour in SG ended
Taeyeon behaved as if nothing had happened
More and more convinced that everything that I had gone through in the first half of the year was just an illusion
Simply a mental illness they call schizophreniform disorder
What secret love between me and Taenggu
It didn’t even exist in real life
It was a dream after all
Or rather a nightmare
February 2014
Girls’ Generation had a comeback again with an EP titled “Mr.Mr.” this time
Very unlike “I Got A Boy” that was filled with vibrant colours and so full of life
“Mr.Mr.” was very dull and boring
Giving off very unwelcoming and unpleasant vibes
GG members often put on a stern / more serious look on their faces during their performances of this song
Maybe that was part of their new comeback concept
But the more I looked at Taeyeon’s grim and unsmiling face
The more I thought she looked particularly unhappy
As much as I was also getting frustrated with not getting any answers to what exactly happened to us in the first half of 2013
Without hearing any word from Taeyeon herself
Without seeing her reach out to me
Even after such a long time had passed
So annoyed with her lack of action and response that I began to develop a disliking towards her again
Already losing my faith and belief in what I thought was a fairytale between us
Ready to accept my fate that it was all nothing but my hallucinations
9 March 2014
Taeyeon’s birthday
The day had gone by like it was just another day
What happened on her birthday that took place in Hiroshima a year ago
My last loving memory of her before I fell mentally ill to schizophreniform disorder had long been forgotten
No one breathed a word about it
No one really knew what was going on
Probably no one really cared anymore
Only Heaven knows
