“A friend in need is a friend indeed.”
“On the wings of a snow-white dove
God sends His pure sweet love
A sign from above
On the wings of a dove”
One month ago, my mum and I were about to set off on our first ever trip to Perth, Australia. I thought I had everything that I needed all packed nicely into my luggage, even my big rainbow bunny plushie companion, Bobo. When we got on board the plane, a sudden realisation struck me – I forgot to bring my schizophrenia medicine! It was strange. Out of all things, the only thing that slipped my mind was my medicine. From my past experiences of travelling, I have learned that keeping my routine of taking my medicine every night especially when I’m overseas is a MUST. Feeling worried, I whispered under my breath to tell Taenggu the bad news as I looked out of the window. At this moment, I saw a low-flying big white bird (it’s rare for me to see a white bird in Singapore by the way and I supposed it was a white dove that I just saw) instantly making a u-turn back. Was this a sign from Heaven telling me to abort my trip to Australia and go back home because it would be dangerous for me to mentally survive for 5 days straight in a foreign western country without my medicine? But it was too late… The plane was already moving, preparing for take-off…
It’s been a month since my safe return from Australia now. I had some reservations about how my trip went. I will probably talk about it in greater detail some time later. But it makes me wonder could the white dove be an incarnation of Jonghyun? Honestly the first thought I had at the sight of the bird making a u-turn on its flight was that it was flying back home to get my medicine for me. Could that be possible?
Today is Jonghyun’s 30th (korean age) birthday. Let’s not forget to rejoice this day as he continues to celebrate his birthday in Heaven. So I decided to draw something for him to commemorate this day too. I originally had an idea of drawing a portrait of him among white clouds with birds flying around him back during the time when he just passed away in December 2017. But due to circumstances then, I didn’t. I guess now it’s the best time to at least draw a little something in dedication to him.
My idea is a white dove carrying a red rose on its beak. A red rose because it has become an unique symbol for Jonghyun among his fans since his death. And I would always remember Jonghyun whenever I see a single stalk of red rose around me too.
My drawing may look simple but it wasn’t done with much ease as I would expect. I had to make several adjustments to get the shape and size of white dove and rose right before it finally looked pleasing to my eyes. Then, I added the words “HBD Jonghyun” and his birthdate at the bottom.
But I realised the position of the white dove and the words were a little misaligned in my original drawing. So I scanned a copy of it and adjusted the alignment to make them more centralised using Photoshop. Below is the final copy I had produced.
Later on, as I wanted to make it look more presentable as an artwork gift, I used an app to add a frame around it and make it look as if it was hung on a green wall (I chose green because it is SHINee’s official fandom colour).
In real life, I have also decided to frame it properly with a picture frame before I send it to Taenggu later this month.
To me, Jonghyun is like a spiritual friend who would come to me when I’m in need. He’s like that white dove I saw at the airport detouring back home to retrieve my medicine for me when he knew I was going to be in trouble. Although he may not necessarily be there around me 24/7 and it’s hard to pinpoint exactly what he has done to help me, I could sense his presence at my emotional highest and lowest.
Last year when I started my new job at Singtel, it wasn’t easy at all. Although I might have appeared strong on the outside, I wasn’t able to cope well emotionally and mentally at all. While trying to cope with mental stress, I also had to keep my gradually increasing weight in check and watch my diet as a result of a drastic change to a new working lifestyle that is unhealthy to my body type and mental condition. And it’s scary because nearly everybody I’ve tried confiding in thinks I look pretty fine on the outside when in fact I’m not okay inside at all.
One morning, when I got up early for work and was having a super untasty plain oatmeals for breakfast, I seemed to sense Jonghyun’s presence in my head. An empathetic voice said to me, “It’s been hard on you.” I guess he was the only one of the very few persons who could perfectly understand that immense pain inside of me when no one, not even my family and close friends, could. I might not know what he has done in Heaven, but simply seeing through my mind and understanding the pain I’m going through already means a lot to me.
Even when I was overjoyed over a sudden unknown stroke of luck, he also made sure I wasn’t fooled by an illusion that might be offering me something good on the outside but has bad intentions behind it. (will talk about it in a separate post)
Today, I would like to dedicate this white dove, a symbol of care, devotion, purity and peace to Jonghyun, the birthday boy. May he find peace and purpose in Heaven, his new home. ⛅
Happy Birthday 종현아! Hope you like this drawing of a white dove sending a red rose over to you! 🕊🌹
That night when I got back home after my flight back to Singapore from Perth, I sensed something which seemed to be Jonghyun’s spirit coming to me, asking “I’m curious…” before it trailed off. What exactly was he curious about? 🤔