Ever since I was out of job and came back from an one-week holiday in Seoul, I have been actively browsing for jobs that are available on the market now. Be it potential full-time permanent jobs or temporary 1 or 2-day kind of event jobs, I have been keeping a lookout for them. Like a maniac who can’t stop myself from checking for the latest jobs on various online job portals every hour and even minute. At other times, I would look for free workshops and courses to attend just to fill up my free time while picking up a new skill and upgrading myself in the meantime. Even though I am spared with lots of freedom and time to myself now, my mind just can’t seem to stop and rest. I certainly have got a monkey mind. My original plan was to take a break first after breaking free from the feeling of being tied down to a standard 9-to-5 job. But it was easier said than done. Ironically, I feel like I have become even busier than I was before when I had a full-time job at BST Software. I feel like I constantly have been trying to escape from something by making myself unnecessarily busy at times. What is that something that I am running away from?
Amidst my frantic job searches, I was looking for workshops and events to attend on the Peatix app one night. And then I came across an event called New Age Fair which was going to take place at Suntec Convention Centre over the weekend. It was a biannual wellness and spiritual fair that showcases vendors specialising in various areas such as yoga, meditations, personal development, psychic readings, spiritual healing and therapies etc. Out of so many things I have always wanted to do (other than learning art & design and setting up a small side business), I have been contemplating about pursuing a spiritual path and learning more about the spiritual world for a long time too. So I was naturally piqued with curiosity and made it a point to visit the fair myself to find out more.
I happened to bring this event up to my close friend afterwards who is interested in spiritual stuff as well so we went together. We reached the venue bright and early when the fair just started. It wasn’t a big event. There were probably only about 20 or less booths that were set up by the different vendors altogether. So my friend and I started looking at each booth slowly one by one while getting approached by some vendors to explain their stuff to us along the way. My agenda for the day was to look for any meditation or spiritual courses that I could potentially take up.
The first booth that caught my eye was one from The Singapore Lodge Theosophical Society. As a kind lady stationed at the booth explained to us, they are offering a course in theosophy and meditation in the upcoming June that is free for anyone from any religion to attend. I like the idea behind this society – they are not biased towards any particular religion but rather, see all religions as a whole and are motivated not by a common belief but a common search and aspiration for Truth. This is in line with my personal belief that all religions have their basis for existence and people of any faith ought to be respected and not discriminated as long as their religion teaches them to be good. My like-minded friend and I were instantly drawn to the views of this society and signed up for the course on the spot since it was free anyway.
We then moved on to other booths and came across a booth that was giving a complimentary shoulder massage. So we stopped by to get a short, quick massage on our back and shoulders while we were “sweet-talked” into buying a discounted voucher to a full-body massage each at their massage parlour that expires at the end of June.
My friend had to leave to meet her other friend right after the massage so I was left to explore the rest of the fair alone. I passed by a booth of a professional psychic medium. She was giving a consultation to a client at that time. Her assistant told me I would have to wait if I want to get a psychic reading from her. Especially during this crucial period when I am uncertain about the direction of my future, I certainly had many questions in mind I wanted to get answers for and getting a psychic reading from the spiritual realm seemed to be a good option. However, I was kinda hesitant about having to pay the $40+ consultation fee and I wasn’t patient enough to wait for my turn so I eventually gave up the thought.
Just when I thought I was almost done with the whole fair, I spotted a booth that was hidden in a corner that was easily to be missed. On their board, it was written that they have upcoming workshop and seminar about spiritual travel and inner guidance. Intrigued, I approached the booth wanting to find out more. A kind lady, probably in her 50s or 60s, came to me. After telling me about their workshop and seminar, she invited me to spin the wheel that was on the table. Intuitively, I spun the wheel anti-clockwise. But while the wheel was spinning, I quickly noticed that there was an arrow indicating to spin in clockwise direction. But the lady said it was okay, I could just do it naturally however I want.
The wheel at my first spin stopped at the part that says “Third Heaven” and the lady gave me this slip of paper.
She explained to me that this is the Heaven that is closest to me. It is known as the ‘Mental Plane’. Deep down inside, I was astonished at how true this was. Because I have been discreetly doing many things with my mind such as mind-singing and mind-talking with Taenggu all these while, anything associated with the mind seems to be something very relatable to me indeed.
The lady then asked me to spin the wheel a second time. This time, I obediently spun it in the clockwise direction. The wheel stopped at a picture of a spiritual traveller named Yaubi Sacabi. She said he is a teacher whom I can look up to but is already gone from our physical world today. 🤔
Next, she led me to the other side of the table where there was a box filled with folded slips of paper. She told me to ask a question. There were many other questions I could have asked, but at the moment, I decided to ask one important question that I had wondered for a long time, “What is my life purpose?”
The lady smiled and said, “You don’t actually have to say your question out to me. You can ask it silently to yourself. But it’s fine. Since you have already asked your question, let’s find out the answer by picking a paper from this box.”
So I put my hand inside and randomly picked one out. I unfolded it and my heart sank a little.
It was a STOP sign glaring back at me. It seemed like the picture was sending me a strong message, but what exactly did it mean? The lady asked, “What does this picture mean to you?” I thought for a moment and gave an uncertain reply, “It means…stop whatever that I am doing right now?” She however suggested a clearer perspective, “Or do you think it could be telling you to stop searching?” I was enlightened immediately. Ahh, it made more sense to me now.
The lady continued, “If you are still unsure, you can pick another one to confirm it.” So I picked another slip of paper and this time, it was a picture of 2 heads facing each other.
The lady asked, “What do you think this picture means to you?” I looked at the picture carefully and thought for awhile before finally giving my answer, “It is telling me to face my true self.” She smiled and nodded.
I then proceeded to register for their workshops and seminar at the booth with the help of the lady before I finally left the fair for good, feeling satisfied with the answers I had gotten away with me for the day.
I told my friend about what happened at the booth later on, about how I was spinning a wheel and drawing lots to get answers from the divine and how the answers were so true and relatable to me. But she didn’t get it. The question that I had asked was, “What is my life purpose?” At the end of the day, I still didn’t get any direct answer to my question, wasn’t it?
I then explained to her what I actually think the pictures mean to me. If the picture of the STOP sign was telling me to stop searching, it means that I in fact am already fulfilling my life purpose right now! It’s telling me to stop searching any further, because I already am where I am meant to be today. And the second picture about facing my true self was telling me to stop running away from myself but to accept who I really am inside. Just like how I always have been feeling like I was running away something by searching for many other things to do except for one thing. That something which I was running away from was myself, my true self. And that one thing that I should be doing but is not given enough attention of is mind-singing. It is that one thing that has made me special and made me truly who I am. Doing anything associated with my mind (as it was already affirmed to me that the mental plane is the Heaven which I am closest to) is like forcing myself to face my inner self. It’s a very intimate thing. But to fully convince myself that mind-singing is the only thing I ever need to do in order to fulfill my purpose in this life without the acknowledgements and support from my family and friends is an uphill and nearly impossible task. Ultimately, I still have to find other practical means for survival in today’s physical world while compromising on this spiritual purpose of mine.
Maybe I should have asked a more practical question. Questions like what should I really do to earn a living? What kind of job should I do? Lol. Maybe coz I am not ready to give up on the worldly ways of living and expectations in order to fully devote myself on this spiritual path yet.
At least there’s one thing for sure now. My life purpose must be a spiritual one, something associated with my mind to create wonders in this world.