“In the end, love always wins.”
Our 30th monthsary drawing was done in remembrance of the Pink Dot event that I had attended for the first time on 1st July 2017 earlier that same month. It is an annual event for the LGBTQIA community in Singapore and I thought it would be especially meaningful for me and Taenggu to show our support. You can read about my experience at Pink Dot 2017 here at LOVE DIARY: SUPPORTING THE FREEDOM TO LOVE.
That day, just minutes after I arrived at Hong Lim Park (the event venue), Taenggu posted the following photo on instagram as her way of showing her support and spiritual presence at the event.
While I was excited to see her selfie and assumed that her intention for posting this photo was to honour the Pink Dot event, I actually had a little regret at the fact that she wasn’t dressed in pink. Because most of the people who attended would wear something pink for the event, I thought it would have been perfect and more obvious if she had worn something pink in her photo too. But I have to make it clear that I wasn’t angry about it. I was just a little sad at the slight imperfection.
So in order to make up for the imperfection and satisfy my desire for her to wear pink, I decided to draw the same picture of her but had her clad in a pink top instead. The pink circle represents Pink Dot. The rainbow arch represents the rainbow that was formed at the light-up event. The two butterflies are like a pair of butterfly couple in love, the blue one represents her while the pinkish purple one represents myself.
On 29th July, the day of our monthsary, I posted the drawing on instagram and wrote that I did this to satisfy my wish for her to wear pink with me at Pink Dot 2017.
Not sure if I sounded dissatisfied and unhappy with her in my writing, a few days later, I found her taking the opportunity at SNSD’s vlive of Tiffany’s birthday party to explain why she doesn’t usually wear pink. Below is the part that I have edited from the vlive.
From the way she stared upwards while explaining herself, I knew she was indirectly talking to me. Was she angry that I wasn’t fully satisfied with her for not wearing pink for Pink Dot so she was trying to defend herself?
Let me explain what actually happened before this vlive. Minutes before the vlive was scheduled to start, I was lying on my bed with my phone waiting patiently. Meanwhile, I heard a voice saying to me repeatedly in chinese, “Not gonna let you lose face…” in a slightly angry tone. However, I had no idea what “she” was actually referring to. When vlive started and I finally could see all SNSD members, including Taenggu visually, I genuinely didn’t sense anything wrong either although I did notice that Taenggu wasn’t smiling as much as usual. I was watching it rather calmly and comfortably though. It was only when she was explaining why she doesn’t wear pink with a stern face while staring upwards that I realised she was actually indirectly addressing the issue about wearing pink in my monthsary drawing to me. I then realised that the voice probably had scolded Taenggu for wearing pink for Tiffany’s party but not for Pink Dot, and thus making me “lose face”.
I wish to clarify that even though Taenggu and the other SNSD members were all wearing pink on that day specially for Tiffany’s birthday party, I didn’t think it was an issue at all. I thought it was perfectly normal since everyone knows that pink is Tiffany’s favourite colour. In fact, I didn’t even relate it to my monthsary drawing in the first place. I didn’t hold any grudge against Taenggu for not wearing pink for our date at Pink Dot 2017. I had actually already forgotten about my monthsary drawing had it not been indirectly brought up again during the vlive.
I guess my monthsary drawing had unintentionally caused a misunderstanding between us. I wish to clear this up now. Nonetheless, I want to thank Taenggu for dressing herself so prettily in that small polka dotted black dress(?) on that day for Pink Dot. And she had pink lipstick on too. Hehe. 😍💜
Although she didn’t wear pink for Pink Dot (and I don’t have an issue with that, she can wear whatever she likes), I did not however doubt her support for the LGBT community. The following is an instagram post I made a few months ago. It’s a collection of evidence of her showing support for LGBT over the years. (Click right to see all the photos ➡️)
Although this may not be her favourite monthsary drawing out of all those I had done (not a favourite one to me either), Pink Dot 2017 was undoubtedly a significant event that had happened between us during that month of July that I just had to make a drawing out of it. I hope that both of us could see beyond the physical surface of this drawing and embrace the spiritual signifance behind it – that regardless of sexuality, in the end, love always win! 🌈❤️💛💚💙💜💖
Flower for the month: