This month, I didn’t feel the urge to plan anything special for our monthsary. Neither did I hear any voices mentioning or reminding me about monthsary frequently like how I did last month. So I just went with the flow until a few days before monthsary, I started asking myself what I should do on monthsary this time. Movie? Cafe? Until a voice replied, “Chomp Chomp”.
I remembered two months ago, I originally wanted to bring Taenggu to Chomp Chomp to try our local food on our 29th monthsary but ended up going to a cafe called The Bakehouse. It was because I had some concerns about eating at Chomp Chomp alone that time. (MONTHSARY SPECIAL: THE TWENTY-NINTH) I guess it left a small regret in me ever since, which might be why the voice prompted me to bring back the idea of going Chomp Chomp again.
There had been many things going on in my mind lately, especially these couple of weeks. I wasn’t able to keep up with the many plans I’ve been thinking about fulfilling and they just kept piling up. Many times, I could just stare at the to-do list in my planner but couldn’t decide which task to start. I also began to forget the little details I used to do as a habit in my daily life. Simple things like getting a flower for Taenggu the day before our monthsary and bringing a camera with me for our date. I guess I was showing some signs of burnout so I really couldn’t wait for my vacation to Bintan with my friend this long weekend so that I could take my mind away from these things and recharge myself (This Friday is a public holiday in Singapore).
2-3 days before monthsary, I also started having indigestion problems again and my stomach got really bloated. I told Taenggu that I might not be able to eat too much food at Chomp Chomp but I would at least get a glass of sugarcane drink that she likes. After that, voices seemed to tell me to cancel our Chomp Chomp date but I wasn’t sure if it really was Taenggu’s intention to put it off. Not wanting to give up on our Chomp Chomp date again like I did 2 months ago, I was still bent on going this time. The night before, a voice told me positively, “This monthsary is going to be real!” My interpretation of the voice was, Taenggu was really going to spend this monthsary physically with me this time, unlike last month when she was busy with filming during our date to USS (MONTHSARY SPECIAL: THE THIRTIETH).
On that day, I took a Uber cab down to Chomp Chomp from my office (because it’s really inconvenient to travel there by public transport from Jurong East). Reached there around 5.30pm and felt really nice to see that the place wasn’t crowded yet.
Ordered my food at one of the stalls, only to realise that I didn’t have enough cash in my wallet so I went over to 7-Eleven at the opposite side of the road to withdraw some money. But the uncles were really nice to wait for me.
My food (sambal kang kong and barbequed stingray) and sugarcane lemon drink came shortly after. Took a few selfies too. 🙂
While eating, I kept “complaining” to Taenggu about how uncommon it really is for people to come Chomp Chomp to eat alone. First, when I ordered my sugarcane drink at the drink stall, the lady asked me, “You want two glasses?” I had to say, “No, I just want one.” Later on, when the uncle came to serve the food to my table, he was holding 4-5 pair of chopsticks in his hands. He asked me, “So one pair of chopsticks is enough for you?” I had to say, “Yes, one pair is enough.” It wasn’t like I was bitter and unhappy about coming here physically alone, but I just felt the need to playfully lament to her about it to let her know that I really was willing to go so far as to do such “lonely” things for her. Haha. I also “grumbled” about worrying not being able to finish these food by myself and asked her to come finish them for me. Slowly, I began to feel some inner momentum within me and found myself gaining appetite and eating faster and faster. I knew this energy must have come from Taenggu. I could feel that she seemed to like the stingray a lot (she actually preferred the stingray over the vegetables). Which wasn’t surprising, since she likes fishes. (P.S. the next day, instead of gaining weight, I actually lost a little weight :D)
If there were any voices that I vividly remembered hearing over dinner, it was one that said “No one knows where Taeyeon is hiding!” I believed Taenggu must have gone somewhere by herself on a secret date like me too. I wondered, where did she actually bring the spiritual part of me to? Though filled with uncertainty, I decided to keep my trust in her.
After dinner, I went to take a walk at the nearby shophouses but I felt kind of bored. I began feeling dizzy and my body started aching badly. I guess it was never really a good idea for someone with a mind and body as sensitive as mine to stay outside for too long because I never really knew “what” exactly I was running into. Not knowing what else to do, I decided to take a bus to Ang Mo Kio, the nearest MRT station.
A few more selfies while waiting for my bus at the bus stop.
While on the bus, I kept hearing a voice exclaim “I’m starving!” It got me worried. I mean, didn’t we just ate? I began to worry if Taenggu wasn’t feeding herself physically, just because she wanted to eat with me spiritually. So I kept pestering her to eat some real food too.
After for like 45 minutes on the bus, I began to realise something wasn’t right – the bus journey was taking longer than it should. That was when I realised I was on the wrong bus. It was going in the opposite direction. Instead of taking me to Ang Mo Kio, the bus was going further and further towards the east. So I quickly alighted at a random LRT station I saw and took a different route back home. There went another hour to get back home, sigh.
The next day, the whole day didn’t feel right to me. I felt really empty inside like a part of me was missing. And I felt agitated easily. It was like I couldn’t really feel Taenggu’s strong presence around me. I found myself yearning for her a lot more than usual – tried to get a response from her, but the feeling just didn’t feel real and certain enough. Where exactly was Kim Taeyeon??
This morning (on the same day as I am writing this post), I woke up feeling the same way. Thankfully, a couple of hours later, I received a clue from the universe. It seemed like a fan had spotted Taenggu on a vacation in Milan yesterday!
These were screenshots taken from instagram.
I feel so much happier now that I’m physically aware and conscious about her whereabouts. I would have guessed that she had been trying to take the spiritual part of me overseas for a holiday with her too. Because recently I had been hearing voices saying things like “travelling around the world” and “take me to fly higher” etc.
It puts my mind at ease, knowing that the spiritual me is in good hands with her. I’m happy and thankful now. 😀