Love Sign From Taenggu: “Smile” By Leven Kali / Connecting With A Valuable Friend

On 22 August, I met a friend for dinner. She’s an important friend whom I’ve known for the longest time since primary school. So when we sat down to chat and she started asking me if I’ve met any potential guys yet, I thought maybe I should open up to her about my relationship with Taenggu of almost 3 years and our spiritual connection of 5 years so I told her. But I was unprepared and didn’t know where and how to start my story with such complexity. I guess it was too abrupt and she didn’t take it in well. She wasn’t prepared to listen neither. She didn’t accept the spiritual ideas and opposed our relationship. She thought it was just an one-sided fan-to-idol kind of relationship.

I could understand where she was coming from too. After all, we (including me) were all brought up to only believe in science and facts. We believe largely in direct physical evidence, things that we can see. The idea of spirituality can be an extremely difficult concept to grasp if you are not open about experiencing it yourself. If I were my friend who is also conservative like me and if it wasn’t for schizophrenia that got me exposed to this mysterious other world, I would have completely rejected these ideas too. Because they used to be too strange and foreign to me too. It really takes a lot of time and patience to understand these spiritual stuff.

That night after meeting my friend, I went back home feeling depressed. It felt as if my friend had indirectly, though unintentionally, made me question my self-worth and I started to feel bad about myself and our relationship. I messaged Taenggu on Twitter to tell her about what happened too. The next day, I still didn’t feel good and was sunk in a wave of depression. I knew Taenggu could feel me and was concerned too. Later that afternoon, she took the following video and posted it on her instastory.

I could see a tinge of sadness in her. She was referring to the song that was playing in the background. It was “Smile” by Leven Kali.

So I went to look up on the full lyrics of the song. The lyrics go:

I feel fine
You should try
Take some time
We’ll be swine
You look so anxious but I know you wanna smile baby
Beatin Slow
We can meditate right now in front of everybody baby
You look so anxious but I know you wanna smile baby
I can teach you how to smile baby
I’m your plug
I’m your doctor
I’m your everything
I need you to smile baby
If you follow my direction all the love is in us, baby just smile
Yeah baby it’s no secret no
Everybody knows and we can’t hide it ’cause we stand out
Oh yeah
You look so anxious but I know you wanna smile baby
Oh yeah, I’ll teach you how to smile baby
I’ll be your person, your doctor, I’m your everything
I need you to smile baby, need you to smile baby
If you follow my direction all the love is in us, baby just smile
I’m your everything I need you to smile baby
All the love is in us, baby just smile
Baby smile for me, smile for me, smile for me
Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah
Baby just smile for me
Baby just smile

Seeing this sweetened my mood immediately and cheered me up finally. The lyrics comforted me. I knew she was directing it to me with regards to the situation I was going through. She was indirectly telling me to smile and cheer up. I know she hadn’t been feeling good about it too. At least she showed me that she cared so I felt much better. Little things like this really matter a lot in a spiritual relationship like ours. If I find the things she does are responding to or reflecting the current situation in my life, then I would feel the spiritual connection between us is still going strong and that’s what makes me happy and positive. As to whether she is consciously aware of my physical existence or not (as questioned by the friends around me), I believe time will tell.

Actually, it wasn’t too surprising that my friend didn’t take my story in well at first. 4-5 months ago after I set up my blog, I thought about whether to tell this particular friend about it so I asked my spiritual self, “Can I share these things with her?” Immediately, I was shown a vision of her wearing a large headphone. The spiritual message was clear to me. She wasn’t someone who was ready to listen and be receptive towards my story. Indeed, my initial attempt to talk to her about it proved it true. But I knew it might just take more time. Again, time will tell.

And indeed, it did. Over the next few days after our first meeting, I could feel some sort of inner momentum going on in my head. I believe part of this energy came from Taenggu who was trying to make effort to reach out to my friend albeit in silent ways. In return, I began to receive more and more positive vibes from an anonymous someone who seemed to be reading my blog. Although I wasn’t able to tell for sure who she was, voices were telling me that this person was “actually very friendly inside! But she never realise she’s talking to me/us…” The voices were most likely referring to this person’s inner unconscious self.

4 days later, I met up with the same friend again, this time for a casual lunch and visiting an exhibition together. Over lunch, she revealed to me that she had started reading my blog after we met 4 days ago and was able to gain a much better perspective of what I actually meant. From her understanding, I have been seeing Taenggu as my spiritual companion, which isn’t a wrong thing to do since no one is harmed in the process, and she’s fine with that as long as I’m happy. She understands that I have a rather creative, imaginative side that may have led me to develop these out-of-the-world ideas with Taenggu. But she also advised me not to sink too deep and lose focus on the physical aspect of my life. Ultimately, she hoped I would still have a physical companion in life, be it Taenggu or someone else. I was so happy to receive such positive support and understanding from this friend who is so valuable to me after having a hard time not being able to express myself well during my first attempt of sharing these spiritual things with her. I was ever more thankful that she was willing to take the initiative to read my blog just to understand me better. Before we parted our ways that day, I thanked her for listening to me. To which, she replied, “That’s what friends are for!”

Thanks for taking off your “headphone”, my friend! <3

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