Around 2 weeks ago, Taenggu’s latest new tattoo was revealed to the public. It was a tattoo of the word “Purpose” at the back of her neck. Looking at the position where she had chosen to tattoo this word, I could relate to it immediately when I first saw it. It was as if Taenggu did this purposely for me (pun intended) so as to get a message across to me. As if my Spirit was speaking to me right through her body.
It was because since a few weeks ago, I started to wonder why my neck had been aching and cracking a lot more these days, especially when I was in the office doing some serious work, both within my job (i.e. programming) and out of my job duties (i.e. personal blogging). I complained to Taenggu a lot about it too. I thought it was just a sign of stress or pressure. It wasn’t until I saw Taenggu’s tattoo that I gained a new perspective towards my neck problem. I felt pressure on my neck because I had been entrusted with a higher purpose to do something greater in life other than being confined in an office. When I first started working full-time in the IT industry in 2016, within the first few days of work, I knew an office job wasn’t really suitable for my health. I could immediately see and feel the negative effects it had on my body – weight gain, indigestion, body aches, tension, nervous breakdown, breathlessness etc, due to my initial work environment. Things definitely turned for the better after I made a switch to another company where I got to enjoy a much better work-life balance. I am able to make time to exercise more regularly now to compensate for my unhealthy sedentary work life. But in the long run, I don’t think I would desire to stay in this job for life.
I’m searching for my life purpose too. These 5 years, I have been doing many extraordinary, spiritual things behind most people’s backs. Very few people around me knew I do mind-singing work for artistes and have been using my mind and spirit to connect with them. On the surface, people might only know I had a condition called schizophrenia but what they didn’t know was that schizophrenia actually facilitated me to do a lot more things no one could ever imagine.
How could I actually balance myself to satisfy the demands from both sides of the world (physical and spiritual)? Voices have been telling me it all actually depends on me. I have to know what I really want. Back in 2015, when I was going to graduate from university in a few months’ time, I had 2 possible directions in mind – to be a web designer or to be a mind singer/healer. The former was obviously a more practical option because I knew I had some interests in doing HTML related work and it would be a stable job that could earn me a living. The latter, however, was so out-of-the-world that it seemed almost impossible to fulfil it as a profession. As far as I know, there is no such profession as a mind singer in the present world. I’m most likely the first and only person in this world to have come up with this idea of mind singing. In other words, I actually invented this whole mind singing thing. But how could I eventually fulfil this to become a real life profession – I honestly have no definite ideas and plans in mind right now.
I used to tell Taenggu, “Just do whatever you love! Continue singing!” because I respect and support her passion even though her career might get in the way of our relationship. I know Taenggu wants me to do the same too. Do something that I love and enjoy. Even the recent shirt she was seen wearing sends this important message to me too.
It says “Someday is now; Doing whatever we fancy.”
I feel like a little lost sheep now. I don’t know how long I have to navigate through my life to get onto the path that I really want and am meant to take. What exactly is my life purpose? I really wish to figure it out soon!
P.S. Did Taenggu really do this tattoo for me? Yes or no, it still did inspire me rethink about the direction of my life! Thanks for the tattoo, Taenggu! 😀