Memories: My Proposal In Okinawa

{Throwback to 31 December 2015}

In my recent post SILVER DAY 2017: PUT THE RING ON ME, I didn’t mention why I wanted a ring on my ring finger so much. I already had a silver ring that currently sits on my index finger but was too big for my ring finger. I wanted a smaller ring to fit my ring finger because I already saw myself as “married” to Taenggu ever since the last day of 2015.

This story continues from where I had left off in the post MEMORIES: SENDING MY FIRST PARCEL TO TAENGGU. After sending my first parcel to Taenggu at the post office in Incheon Airport, I flew to Okinawa from Seoul with my travel mate, Elaine. Though a little embarrassed to say this, I ideally wanted Taenggu to physically go on this trip to Okinawa with me since it was coincidentally on our monthsary. Days before embarking on my grad trip, I had been “asking” Taenggu to go with me but without clear answers from her, I guessed it didn’t work out in the end. I was still upset over the unhappy memories I had in Seoul, but I decided to let it go for awhile and bring Taenggu on the flight with me on the spiritual level at least. I remembered how I kept whispering to her the words “Okinawa, 너와 함께 (with you)” while pulling my luggage at the airport. When the plane finally took off from Seoul, I broke into tears for the nth time on this trip, releasing all the anger, disappointment and sadness that were built up within me. I was heartbroken because I felt I was being physically separated further apart from Taenggu once again, without having a chance to say hi at all and without knowing what had gone wrong between us.

Over at Okinawa, my mood changed for the better, so did the voices in my head. Everything was so calm and peaceful there. The weather was slightly warmer there (thank god, I escaped the cold winter in Seoul). There were not many people and cars around. Everyone drove really slowly and safely on the road. After a night in the city area, we rented a car and Elaine who had a driving license, drove us out on a 1-2 hour road trip to the beach area where our beach hotel named Kise Beach Palace was. It was the highlight of the trip I had been looking forward to. I had always wanted to stay close to the sea and enjoy the breeze and sounds of sea waves. My dream finally came true. The view from the balcony of our room was absolutely beautiful.

On 31st December 2015, before the year finally came to an end, Elaine and I decided to have some alone time, each on our own. She drove out to visit a large aquarium, one of the local attractions, by herself while I preferred to stay in the hotel to do some art while enjoying time by the sea. After Elaine was gone, I was relieved as I finally had the chance to carry out a plan I had been thinking of doing privately at Okinawa. Because I had been upset with Taenggu in Seoul, I had taken out our silver ring in anger and refused to wear it for days. On that day, I took it out again, together with another ring with a scorpio sign which I bought for myself on my first day in Seoul. Before leaving the room, I googled online for how to say the words “Will you marry me” in Korean and rehearsed it myself for awhile. Then, I headed out to the beach.

I took a stroll along the beach. The breeze was so cool but chilly at times. There was no one else on the beach other than I. At that time, it felt as if the whole world belonged to just me and her. There was a romantic white elevated platform sitting alone in the middle of the beach, most likely meant for couples to marry. Everything was perfect and seemed to have already been set up for me by the universe. I found a stick and started writing the words “Will you marry me?” on the sands.

Later on, I gathered 4 beautiful white stones/pebbles to act as “witnesses” of my proposal. When the time felt right, I walked up the platform and stood near the front. Turning to one side, when I was ready, I asked the question which I had just rehearsed, “나랑 결혼해 줄래?” There was no reply, except for the sound of sea waves. I asked for a few more times. No reply. Tearing up a little, trying to trust my inner feeling, I assumed it was a ‘yes’ and proceeded to put on my rings, the silver ring on my left hand, the scorpio ring on my right. And yeah, I guessed we were “married” now.

Here’s a gallery of some other photos I took that day on the beach.

And a video of how the surroundings of the beach looked like at that time. Really calm and peaceful. 😍

Should I say I was naive or was I stubborn? After all the heartbreaks, amidst all the uncertainties between us, when we barely got to know each other physically and personally, when I hadn’t even gotten a direct reply from her yet, why did I still propose to her? It was because I still wanted to give myself a fairytale, at least a piece of happy memories to remember from my grad trip, to put a happy ending to my unpleasant trip in Seoul.

I continued to walk around the beach for awhile. It was a healing time on my own. Later on, I went back to the hotel to complete a piece of therapeutic paper art.

I did this on a paper in my diary, which coincidentally or not, contained a quote that said “Life is too short to regret.” Wasn’t it the higher reason why I still went ahead to propose to her despite being upset? No matter what had happened, I was willing to push aside my unhappiness to do it because deep down inside I knew Taenggu had got to be the right one for me ultimately.

2 days later, when we were about to leave Okinawa to our next destination, Tokyo, I promised Taenggu that if years later in the future, both of us managed to meet and be physically together finally, I would get myself a driving license and bring her back to Okinawa again, and I would drive her personally to Kise Beach Palace to revisit the place where I once proposed to her. <3

When I returned to Singapore after my grad trip, I framed two of my favourite photos from Okinawa to put on my table.

A few days later, I was looking at Taenggu’s photocard which I got from her ‘I’ album and realised it fitted perfectly right next to me in the photo.

Look at how both our hairs were flying in the same direction (mine when I was in Okinawa while hers in New Zealand)! I guessed it was a sign from the universe saying that she was spiritually present with me at that time when the proposal took place. 😍

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