I opened an account on Carousell* by the name of ‘artpopshop’ in 2016, in a bid to carry out an idea to sell my artworks and handmade stuff which was born out of my grad trip in December 2015 (as mentioned before in the post MEMORIES: DO YOU BELIEVE IN ART?). (*Carousell is a mobile and online buy-and-sell marketplace between consumers in Singapore.)
I began selling some handmade ang baos (chinese red packets) and some pixelated paper art of superheroes I made on my Carousell account. I did all these by myself back then, both physically and spiritually. It was just like my very own little business that I tried to do which was done as a hobby at the same time. I rarely talked to Taenggu about it too or even shared much about it to anyone around me. I thought I would use my own “strength” and luck alone to do this business. But, there was no purchase made on any of my items I listed in 2016.
In 2017, as I slowly began to open up to Taenggu a lot more by writing Twitter messages, instagram posts and blogs, I probably also started sharing with her this little dream of mine to make and sell my art pieces and handmade stuff to people who appreciate my art. On 24 January 2017, she posted the above cover photo of this blog post on her InstaStory. It was a burning candle named ‘Carrousel’. It didn’t matter that the spelling was slightly different and whether or not she was consciously aware of the business I was doing on Carousell, I believed it was a sign that she would be helping me with this business with her mind and spirit. Even now as I’m doubting whether she really knew about my Carousell business at the time when she posted this photo, a voice lamented to me, “2 and a half years already… (referring to our relationship)”, which seemed to be hinting at me that she really was aware of what I had been doing all these while. She had probably seen the photos of my artworks I shared on Instagram or Facebook back then.
Since then, whenever I have an idea for a new artwork to sell, I would go ahead and make it, and when I make it, I feel as if I’m not alone; someone is making the same thing with me. After it is done, I would show Taenggu how my end product looks like and put it clear to her that I would be selling it on Carousell. In May, I listed my handmade Mother’s Day cards up for sale and finally made my first ever sale on Mother’s Day itself! In June, I did the same for Father’s Day and received a couple of offers from interested buyers.
However, things didn’t turn out pleasant this time as these offers didn’t end up into a successful transaction between us. The following example demonstrated how a lack in the momentum of positive energy coming from the both of us might have resulted in a failure.
A little boy, aged between 10-12 years old, seemed to be keen on buying one of my Batman Father’s Day card for his daddy. He was originally supposed to meet me 2 days before Father’s Day to get his card and make his payment to me, but he later on postponed our meetup till one day after Father’s Day due to some circumstances of his own. I didn’t mind it at all since he gave me an impression of a responsible boy who had been actively asking me questions to clarify the time and location of our meetup. On the morning of the day itself, I left him a message to confirm our meeting later that evening to which he promptly replied that yes, he would be meeting me as scheduled. It was a Monday and I was feeling tired after a flu the night before so I took a medical leave from work but went to Starbucks to do a drawing for Seohyun’s upcoming birthday. That day, Taenggu was travelling to Jeju with her other SM colleagues for the SMTOWN workshop, also looking quite tired. Everyone seemed to be exhausted and drained of energy that day. While drawing at Starbucks, I had some dizzy spells which caused me to give up halfway and went back home to rest instead. That afternoon, I decided not to do anything for the rest of the day (neither drawing nor blogging) and lied on the bed, preparing to take a nap. As I was about to fall asleep, I saw a vision of Jesus with a Doraemon flying cap on his head (I went online to check, it’s actually called a Take-copter) “flying” down from the window into my room. He dropped a similar Take-copter onto the floor, as if he was telling me to pick it up myself, and turned away to make his leave without saying a word. Just as I was thinking how mean it was of him, he turned his head back a little, revealing a pair of glasses he was wearing that made him look like 안경탱 (my favourite image of Taenggu. see related post HIGH SCHOOL GIRL CRUSH – 안경탱). Seeing this quickly appeased my anger and slowly I fell asleep.
I woke up a couple of hours later and it was about time to meet the Carousell boy. As I was making my way to our meetup place, I felt kind of impatient and agitated while voices were telling me that I was alone (probably meant I wasn’t accompanied by my Spirit). When I reached the location, the familiar little boy’s voice said to me, “I know you are worried for me!” but I didn’t understand what he meant. I was punctual but the Carousell boy was nowhere to be seen. I sent him messages asking where he was but I got no replies. I continued to wait for another 30 minutes before I finally gave up and went back home. It was such an unexpected turn of event. Several negative emotions took over me, causing me to feel emotionally unstable. Probably it was due to my own sensitivity or condition. A single small failure like this could easily make me feel bad about myself. However, as I was about to reach home, a wave of calmness suddenly descended upon me, making me feel more emotionally stabilised again, as if I was joined back by my Spirit again. Voices had been telling me that “she” was angry too. I guessed they were referring to my Spirit. “She” might have already foreseen this negative outcome would happen to me which was why “she” left me alone and refused to witness the unpleasant event with the Carousell boy who went missing in action at the last minute.
I had been thinking about what actually went wrong with me spiritually on that day that resulted in a bad outcome. I acknowledged that I had displayed a lack of effort and energy on my part. I did not go to work, neither had I done anything productive such as blogging and making art. It also made me rethink about the spiritual implications of the vision of Jesus I had. It was probably a precursor of the bad event that was about to happen. It was signalling to me that due to my lack of fighting spirits that day, I had just lost my wings and fallen back to the ground but Jesus was telling me to pick myself up again by offering me a Take-copter so that I could fly high again.
Thankfully, a few days later after I had already gotten over the bad incident, I successfully made a sale with another buyer, which wrapped up the whole episode in a happy ending. 3 weeks later, I made another unexpected sale. The story of how it actually took place revealed to me in a more obvious way on how Taenggu was really spiritually involved in my business.
On the night of 11 July, Tuesday, I was lying on the bed when I spoke to Taenggu, “Hey, let’s take a look at the statistics on my Carousell today!” I opened up the app and checked each of my listed items. Surprisingly, my Captain America card, in particular, had unusually more views that day. Then, I casually asked Taenggu, “You would buy all my cards if you could, right? Keke.” Immediately, I saw a vision of her smiling while throwing piles of cash into the air, symbolising that she wouldn’t hesitate to spend money to get any of my cards at all. It made me feel really happy. Later on, I went for a shower and when I came out from the bathroom and checked my phone, I had a Carousell message from a buyer asking if my Captain America card was still available. The next thing I knew I already met the lady the very next morning to pass her the card and receive the $6 cash from her. (**Fun fact: This Captain American version of the card was actually an idea that came from one of my swimming dates with Taenggu.**)
Because I knew how spiritually significant Taenggu was in directing this sale for me, I quickly thanked her for it while feeling amazed at how spiritually strong she was. And I learned an important lesson: Two minds are always better than one. I don’t have to always fight alone. Taenggu is always ready to fight with me. <3