“I thought she needs a namja, and to love her doesn’t necessarily mean to have her, so I let her go.”
10 February 2017 not only was Sooyoung’s birthday, it was also Taenggu’s pet dog, Ginger’s birthday too, so I made this drawing for him. I wished I could be physically there standing together with Taenggu and Ginger like a family so I merged the below 2 photos together into a drawing.
Personally, I feel like I always have a close connection with Ginger too. I first got to know about her dog through her Instagram when she set it up in 2013. Back then, she often posted photos of herself with Ginger. I could tell that she loves her dog very much.
When schizophrenia started and I found out that I was spiritually connected to Taenggu, I wanted to let her go even before our relationship got started because I felt that I just wasn’t good enough for her. I was just a girl, a student, a Singaporean, a Chinese. I felt that the person she needed should be a namja, preferably an older namja, who could take care of her and protect her. I somehow knew that she didn’t have a partner or a potential one back then. But I knew that there was at least a dog whom she loves very much. So, there were some nights when I found myself trying to reach out to Ginger and whispering to him (yes, I was even talking to a dog). I told him, “Ginger-yah, help me take care and look after my Taeyeonie until she has found a suitable namja to love her, okay?” And so, I passed the responsibility of taking care of Taenggu to Ginger. I sometimes called him ‘Ginger boy’. Yeah, those were the times.
Below was a quick drawing I made and posted on my KakaoStory on 10th August 2015.
I was just trying to tell her that because I thought she needed a namja, and to love her didn’t necessarily mean to have her, I let her go 2 years ago (2013).
Till today, I want to thank Ginger for doing a good job in taking care of my Taenggu. At least he had been her closest companion when I left her alone back then. I love you, Ginger! <3