Two Voices

You’re one of a kind
Kind of

You’re a star
In Starbucks maybe

You’re a queen
Not a mannequin?

You’re like a rainbow
That’s just your Bobo

She said you’re not a toy
She wished you’re a boy

She likes your art
The one where you cut out your heart

That’s not what I expected
Well, life isn’t always what you predicted it to be

~

Endless questions
Possible answers
Conflicting voices
All thanks to uncertainty

Celeste Koh

This poem came from real voices in my head. There was one morning when I was half-awake on the bed, I heard voices like this in conflict with each other. It wasn’t a fierce fight though, they were actually pretty mild and gentle. They represent 2 types of voices which I usually hear in my head. One is very positive but imaginary, the other is very pessimistic but practical and frank. This kind of conflicting voices happens when I wish to get a definite answer from someone but I can’t hear what the voices are trying to say clearly. So I become doubtful and uncertain. For example, the voice could be saying “toy” but after awhile, I thought it might have been “boy”. Voices like to build links and relationships between words like this. Thinking on the fun side, it’s like a wordplay.

The poem actually reflects some hidden truths between me and Taenggu, especially the parts about “queen” and “mannequin”, “rainbow” and “Bobo”, “toy” and “boy” etc. I wonder how Taenggu would interpret this poem and relate to it from her perspective?

Whenever I’m full of doubts, I always hear a boy’s voice saying “Thank you for uncertainty!” Thinking on the bright side, it is because of uncertainty that makes life full of possibilities. That’s how wonders work, isn’t it?

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