In my earlier post about my poem “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You”, I mentioned there are some special meanings in the fancam of the performance of “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You” when SNSD was here in Singapore for their world tour in 2013. So in this post, I’m going to share about how I actually read Taenggu’s face when I watch this video. Just a note, I was also sitting on the 3rd floor of the stadium among the audience at that time too.
If you listen carefully, you can vaguely hear the audience singing “ta-da-ta-da-ta-da-da-da” in the background along with the music. Even if you can’t hear it clearly, you can get the hint from Taeyeon’s mouth. She was mouthing along with the audience’s voices which she could hear clearly from the stage.
This kind of voices are mystical because they are totally impromptu and came in unison just from the spur of the moment. Could you imagine where these voices actually came from?
Taeyeon was glancing briefly upwards. Judging from the level of her glance, she was probably looking at the audience sitting at the third floor. Did those mysterious voices came from that region of the stadium?
The lyrics was saying “Now that I’ve found you, stay”. But at this point, the way she moved her head a little was like telling me “No, not really”.
The way she gave her flying kiss and lingered for awhile and the look on her face seemed like she was waiting for a response.
I have always been sensitive to this hand gesture of pointing the index finger upwards towards the sky. To me, it has a special meaning. It means “number one” or “SO-ONE”. (SONE is the name of SNSD’s fandom)
She must have heard the same audience voices singing “ta-da-ta-da-ta-da-da-da” again. She was glancing upwards very briefly then after that, mouthing along with the audience voices.
The lyrics was saying “I love you baby, And if it’s quite alright, I need you baby, To warm the lonely nights, I love you baby, Trust in me when I say”. At the start, when she was doing the heart-pumping action and looking so sincere, it was like she was doing a love confession. At the end, the way she opened her arms and leaned her ear forward was telling me that she was waiting to hear my answer.
That smile and the satisfied look on her face seemed to me that she heard an answer from the stage. But honestly, I have no idea what exactly she heard at that time.
She became even more hyper and energetic after that. She looked so happy.
You can tell from her actions that she was anticipating the last line of the song as if she couldn’t wait to say those words “I love you baby”.
At the end, I think her mic became muted or the volume was switched lower. But looking from her mouth movements, I think she wanted to say “I love you guys!”
At that time, if I really was very sure that she really was looking for me, I would have said, “I love you too! And I need you too.” But everything was so uncertain back then. Was the love between us real in the first place? It was only after the concert, when I went back home to watch videos like this to look for answers, I saw some tell-tale signs and hints from her like what I mentioned above. But my attitude back then was, nothing is true without a confirmation. So for me, life went on as normal after the concert. I was waiting for her. And she, probably, was waiting for me too.