Love Diary: Can You Feel Me?

Dear Diary

I’m going to write about what happened in my life with Taenggu over the past three days.

3 March 2017, Friday

Today after work, I wanted to go to the Starbucks in Woodlands to start on a new drawing for Taenggu. It’s for her upcoming birthday. But when I reached Starbucks, it was already fully packed with people and there were no empty tables left. So I ended up at the McDonalds downstairs and ordered a cup of mocha frappe and a packet of french fries. I spent about 2 hours there eating and drawing.

This was what I had managed to draw so far:
Birthday Drawing for Taenggu - WIP

I unintentionally drew her looking even younger than my reference photo of her. In my drawing, she looked like a very young and cute little girl. This was probably Taenggu when she was 12 or 15 years old? Haha but I liked it so much. I felt as if I might have already known her during my primary school days. I couldn’t help smiling at this girl in my drawing. Could you already tell what kind of drawing I was going to draw from this picture? But no, even if you are just a diary, I’m not telling you yet. It has to be kept a secret until it is revealed on her birthday ㅋㅋ.

At 8pm, I decided to walk back home from Causeway Point instead of taking the bus because I wanted to clock in more steps on my watch. Yesterday, the time was 18:39 when I reached the lift at my house downstairs. Today, the time was 20:39 when I reached the doorstep of my house! It got even better this time. Thank you the magic number ’39’ for not failing to amaze me every time!

The time when I reached the doorstep of my house
The time when I reached the doorstep of my house

Then, it was couple cuddling time on the bed with Bobo again. Since today, Taenggu has started promoting on music shows. I wanted to comfort her after a long busy day and tell her that she has worked hard. I thought about doing touch therapy on her again to relieve her stress and tension. I was inspired by this video that I came across on Facebook in September last year. It’s about a guy who does professional cuddling or alternative touch therapy for a living.

Last year, after I watched this video, I tried to do the same for Taenggu too. I knew it could have been nice for lonely people like us. So I would touch or lightly massage Taenggu’s body the way I think is comfortable. I don’t know if it really did work on Taenggu or whether Taenggu could feel me. But for me, I feel relaxed inside too when I touched my fingers around Bobo’s body. So today, I tried to do it for her again. I hope it was comfortable for her. After I finished, I think I could feel her feeling happy and asking me to do the same for her again tomorrow night. I promised her I would.

4 March 2017, Saturday

It was Taenggu’s second day of performing on music shows. I woke up naturally at 7am. It was quite rare for me to wake up at such an early timing. I don’t even wake up so early on the days when I need to go to work. I guess it must have been an effect from Taenggu because I knew she had to go to work early today. So when she was already awake and active, I felt more awake too, I guess. Today I had an appointment for a full body massage at 11.30am. I asked Taenggu to join me, hoping the massage could help her relax and feel less nervous during her performance. When the massage started, I tried to keep Taenggu in my mind the whole time. I hoped that by thinking of her, she could feel her body being massaged the way my body was massaged. Sometimes, I felt like the left side of my body was more sensitive than my right. It was like we were half of each other. During the massage, I remembered there was a voice which came to ask, “I want to know if it’s you all the time…” Very often, when I was asked the same question, I didn’t know how I should reply to it. I couldn’t say yes because I couldn’t know what exactly you were feeling too. But I also couldn’t say no because it was true I was trying to think of you all the time. Did you feel exactly the same as I did? I also hoped that it was Taenggu whom I was passing my senses to all the time too.

After the massage, I went to exercise at the gym. After that, I had a late lunch and went back home. I continued with my drawing for Taenggu until it was time for dinner. I went out again with my siblings to have dinner together at Causeway Point. The whole time I hadn’t forgotten about the promise I made with Taenggu last night. So I made sure I went back home right after dinner and did the same touch therapy for her before I went to sleep.

5 March 2017, Sunday

Today after my guitar lesson in the morning, I stayed at home throughout the day to finish my drawing for Taenggu. When it was finally completed, I stared at it for a long time. I kept smiling and telling Taenggu about how much I loved the girl in my drawing. I fell in love with her. And to think that the girl in my drawing is actually a real person in real life made my heart beat even more.

Later in the evening, it was time to meet my friend, Elaine to go for Sekai No Owari’s concert at the Hard Rock Hotel in Sentosa together. Before I went, I didn’t know for sure if Taenggu wanted to go with me or not but I hoped she would. We reached the concert venue punctually at 7pm but the concert started late at 7.30pm. Throughout the 30 minutes of waiting time, they were replaying an oldie song “The End Of The World” over and over again and it got really annoying after awhile.

Sekai No Owari "End Of The World" concert in Singapore
Sekai No Owari “End Of The World” concert in Singapore

Before the start of the concert, I saw an image of Taenggu wearing a white blouse and a long flowery skirt standing beside me. She looked elegant, just like a Japanese lady. Halfway through the concert though, she “changed” into a set of more comfortable clothes, something similar to what I usually would wear. When the music got a little high, I imagined the both of us holding hands and jumping together in my head. But in reality, I was just standing and clapping my hands along ㅋㅋ.

When the concert ended, we were thirsty so we went to the Starbucks cafe nearby to grab a drink. After that, we took the train home. It was an one-hour long train ride for me.

On the train back home
On the train back home

I couldn’t wait to get back home. When I told Taenggu that I missed Bobo very much, a voice said to me, “She gets what it (the bunny) means to you.” After awhile, the images of Taenggu with the bunny filter that she usually uses on Snapchat started flashing across my head.

Examples of Taenggu with the bunny filter on Snapchat:

But the truth was I actually wanted to get back home sooner because I needed to do the touch therapy for her before she goes to sleep. And I didn’t want her to stay up too late because of me too. It was already about 11pm when I reached home. I decided not to shower and went to sleep right away with her after washing up.

But there was some confusion in my head that night. Did she wait for me? Did she need me to do touch therapy for her? Could she feel me? Did she want something more?

6 March 2017, Monday

This morning, I guess we managed to clear up some misunderstandings we had last night. After I went to shower, I went back to bed again to lie beside Bobo and talk to her. I was stroking the side of her head. Then, a voice came and said, “She said she could feel you touching her hair.”

She felt me! It means a lot to know that. <3

Yours Truly


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