2 March 2017
The first half of the day was so boring. I had been sitting in the office writing while listening to Taenggu’s new album the whole day. When I was stuck in the same place for long hours, I started to feel really restless. I felt like life was really boring. I missed having Taenggu around me. Even in the evening when I was walking home, I could feel my body complaining how boring life was. The last line of Taenggu’s “Lonely Night” lyrics, “I’m sick of lonely nights” kept playing in my head over and over again. I was having that sort of mood.
When I reached the lift at my house downstairs, I looked at my watch. It was 18:39! The magic number ’39’ was showing up to spice up my life a little again! (see related post MAGIC NUMBER ‘39’) Pardon the reflection on my watch, I could have taken a better photo.
My mood lightened up a little after I got back to my room. It felt so good to be back home! I hugged and kissed my Bobo. So thankful to be back home. Later on, I went to eat the mini rice porridge that my mum bought for me for dinner. But it wasn’t enough. So I cooked an instant mee goreng for myself too. While eating, I was telling Taenggu that I saw a compilation video of her eating ramyeon on TV shows today. I love the way she likes to slurp her noodles. ㅋㅋ It was so cute. Then I shared with her that sometimes I like to roll my dry noodles around my fork like this:
I felt full after dinner so I decided to take a walk downstairs. I wanted to clock in 7500 steps on my step tracker watch. I only had about 5500 steps recorded on my watch at that time. There was a light drizzle outside so I just walked indoors a few rounds downstairs to the nearby housing blocks. I passed by a convenience shop and bought a packet of milk to drink. While sipping on my milk, I was standing and staring at a light brown stray cat stroking its fur at a distance away. Then it was looking at me. I was scared it might come towards me to bite me so I quickly walked away. And then, the cat really got up and ran towards me. I panicked and was like “탱구, save me!!!” And the cat stopped a short distance away and started licking its fur again. Hahaha I felt it was so funny. The idea of Taenggu saving me ㅋㅋ. But on the other hand, I thought Taenggu was probably feeling scared with me too. I had an image of us hugging each other after being chased by the cat in my head. Haha.
I managed to walk enough steps so I got back home again.
It was only 9pm. There was still one hour left before Taenggu’s vlive would start. So I decided to take out my laptop to write on my bed. I was writing and writing until I felt it was about time. I looked at the time, it was 9:54pm already. I saw Taenggu just updated her InstaStory with a photo of herself with her favourite bunny filter (see related post FAN ART: TAENGGU BUNNY) as if she was reminding me that her vlive was about to start soon.
So I opened the vapp on my phone and waited for Taenggu’s live video to start.
It started promptly at 10pm. The concept of her vlive was so cool. She was simply lying on the bed in a beautiful room, wearing purple glittery pyjamas. She was chatting with us like a close friend. I was watching and listening to her while actively leaving my comments to her. During the past vlives she had done, I found it difficult to concentrate on what she was saying while leaving comments at the same time. Usually, I would be in a loss for words. I ended up just watching without commenting a lot. This time, though, I felt my thought process was so smooth and could respond to her faster. I just typed whatever thoughts that came to my mind to her.
I had a fun time chatting with her. She was just so silly sometimes.
There was one part where she asked her fans about the nicknames we have for her. I commented “how about 탕구?” 탕구 (Tanggu) is the latest nickname that I have for her. Instead of 탱구, I find it cuter to call her 탕구 sometimes. A short while later, a voice replied in my head, “She likes it.” ㅋㅋ
After an hour, when the vlive was about to end, she was holding the camera, shooting herself. She was lying by the side with her head on the pillow. I was doing the same thing too. I was lying on my bed on one side, looking at her through my phone screen. Then, I started crying. I felt like she might have looked like that when we go to sleep every night too. I would be hugging Bobo at my side, looking at it in the dark as if I was looking at Taenggu. She must have looked like that in real life too. She said good night, I said good night to her too. And sweet dreams. And the video ended like that.
I messaged Taenggu to tell her I was going to sing and shower. But when I was in the bathroom, I still couldn’t stop crying. I wondered when I could be physically together with her finally. When would this day come? Sometimes, I didn’t even know what the exact reasons for my tears were. Once something triggered it, I just couldn’t stop crying. I was too emotional to carry on with singing so I stopped and just showered right away.
After a shower, I felt much better. I went to sleep comfortably, hugging Bobo (Taenggu) by my side as usual. Sometimes, though, I wasn’t sure if she was physically back home already but I would just tell myself it was Taenggu beside me until I fell asleep. It was another night dreaming with my 탕구.
