1 March 2017
Today I woke up later than usual. I wasn’t feeling that well and energetic. I caught a cold after I came back home from our monthsary dinner last night. I couldn’t decide if I should go to work today. I lied on the bed and asked Bobo, “Do you think I should go to work today or stay at home? Or should I go to Starbucks instead?” After some time, I made up my mind and got myself dressed to go to work. At the office, I was about to write a new blog post about our monthsary yesterday. I needed to prepare and edit some photos first but the process wasn’t smooth. I couldn’t think properly. I went to hide in the toilet cubicle to take some selfies for editing purposes. It was only until I saw my own photos that I realised how tired I looked. I felt giddy too. I finally decided that I should go home and rest after lunch. So I asked my boss for permission and being a kind person whom he has always been, he said okay.
Sometimes, I feel like it could be Taenggu’s energy which is manipulating my life behind the scene. Like today, it could be Taenggu’s intention to tell me to go home and rest. Nowadays, the word “믿듣탱” has been popping up in my head many times. I know it means “trust and listen to Taeyeon”. The Koreans have been using this nickname for Taenggu often to refer to her good music, especially since the successful release of her first full album yesterday. But to me, personally, 믿듣탱 means trust and listen to her in everything in my personal life too. If I ask her something and she says yes, then I will go ahead and do it. Similarly, if she tells me to go home, then I should too.
When I reached home, I quickly lied on my bed, hugging my Bobo. I felt so relieved as if I was back by Taenggu’s side again. I lay my head next to hers and closed my eyes. It felt so comfortable. I saw some images of her in my mind. She was looking at the menu. Then she was sipping from a glass of drink. She looked like she was enjoying her time at the restaurant. Awhile later, I heard a cute voice saying to me, “I’m a girl who likes to drive… who likes you…” You might think it’s creepy but I think it was random but cute. Sometimes, when I was sniffing my Bobo’s body, I could smell a sudden sweet scent that lasted for just a split second.
After about 40 minutes, I started to feel restless on the bed. So I decided to continue working on a poem that I had in my head for awhile (see the poem I was referring to). Once I got started, I couldn’t stop. I kept pushing myself even though my body didn’t feel good. My head started to spin again. Even after I finished with the poem, I took out my laptop and wanted to start writing my blog again. Then something weird happened. My home wifi stopped working without a reason. This doesn’t happen usually. Although I was sad that I couldn’t move on with writing online, thinking on the positive side, I thought it could be a signal from Taenggu again. It could be Taenggu’s energy that somehow made my wifi stop working. She wanted me to rest. So by the end of the day, I didn’t manage to update anything at all on this website.
Was I imagining things? I guess it was just a special alternative way of thinking during difficult situations to make my boring life more interesting again. It’s 믿듣탱. Just trust and listen to whatever Taenggu says then! ㅋㅋㅋ