Memories: I Will Be Your Unnie

{Throwback to early August 2016}

After watching Taenggu’s ‘Butterfly Kiss’ concert in Busan on 7th August, my sister and I travelled back to Seoul on the very next day. We spent a night there at a hotel in Dongdaemun. I brought my rainbow bunny soft toy, Bobo on the trip with me too. That night, I was hugging it as if I was hugging Taenggu to sleep as usual.

The next morning, the first thing when I opened my eyes, I saw a blurred image of someone stroking my head and she said to me softly, “I will be your unnie.” It felt like Taenggu. It was her. I had no idea what went through in my head throughout the night when I was sleeping but I knew she probably could hear some voices from my head. I felt so warmed by what she said. I felt like a little girl again.

I guess it was because on that trip, I had to act like a big sister to my younger sister. I had to be the one leading her and guiding her around on this trip with me. I had to be stronger and braver. Being the eldest child in the family, I had to be that way throughout my growing-up years too. There were many times I wished I could be the weaker one who was being taken care of and had somebody older to rely on. I wished I had a older sister/brother too. Someone who could listen to my problems and give me a sense of security. Probably, that night, Taenggu heard me. She heard the inner child within me. She heard my silent wish from deep inside of me. So she comforted me and said “I will be your unnie.”

Wasn’t it supposed to be heartwrenching that both of us who seemed emotionally close to each other and were physically in the same place at that time couldn’t have a chance to meet each other personally at all? We always seemed to be just passing by each other each time. But during that trip, I didn’t really feel that bad about it because it felt like Taenggu’s soul was with me all the while. Even this painting at my hotel room in Seoul was a sweet reminder to me, as if it was a personal message from Taenggu, that no matter where we are apart physically, she will always be with me because “I love you to the moon and back”.

The painting in my hotel room in Seoul
The painting in my hotel room in Seoul

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